Views and arguments
Why am I so sure I’m right when I only see part of it?
You know you are right, and you keep ending up in the same fight, even when you only know part of the story.
The pattern
A piece of the truth feels like all of it. You touched something real, so you defend it hard, and the other person, who touched a different piece, does the same. Each of you is accurate about your part and wrong about the whole, and the argument is about which part gets to be the whole.
When this shows up
- You are halfway through your rebuttal before they have finished their sentence.
- A family argument restarts with the same lines it had last year.
- You read one article and feel ready to settle the question for everyone.
What it feels like
Certain and cornered at once. Giving any ground feels like losing, so the conversation turns into a contest instead of a look at the thing itself.
The sutta lens
Followers of Various Other Religions (1st) (Ud 6.4) (Ud 6.4)
In Ud 6.4, ascetics and wanderers of many different religions in Sāvatthī are at war over their views: the cosmos is eternal, or it is not; the soul is the body, or it is something else. Each calls their own view the only truth and the rest foolish, and they wound one another with sharp words. When the monks tell the Buddha, he tells a story. A king once had every person blind from birth in the city brought together, and had an elephant shown to them, one part to each group. Afterwards he asked them what an elephant is like. Those who had been shown the head said it was like a pot. Those shown the ear said a winnowing fan. The leg was a pillar, the tip of the tail a broom. Each group insisted on its own answer until they came to blows. The quarrelling wanderers, the Buddha says, are like that: they do not know what is helpful or what is true, so they quarrel. His closing verse calls them people who see only one part, and who cling to it.
Try this today
- 1In your next disagreement, name the part of the elephant you are holding.
- 2Ask one question about the part the other person is holding, and listen to the answer.
- 3Notice the moment you want to win, and ask whether winning would show you more of the elephant.
Continue in BuddhaUR
Open a conversation with this question already filled in — every answer traces back to a sutta you can read yourself:
I’m sure I’m right and I keep ending up in arguments, even when I only know part of the story. What does Ud 6.4, the blind people and the elephant, say about that?
Know someone caught in this same pattern? Send them this note.
From the blog
A longer read on the teaching behind this pattern.